Shades of Grey (no not that kind)

First get your mind off the trilogy.

We all tend to gravitate to a way of thinking and being. I struggle however to define myself, in the past or the present. But I know that I tend to value the finer colours on the spectrum between black and white thinking but that in the darker moments of my life I run to the extremes and find comfort there. Being “nearly” vegan is for me is about being comfortable in the grey. I get thrown off by the fundamentalist vegans proselytising their way of life, as if it is the only valid one. Unfortunately right now with the state of animal welfare and factory farms its hard to see a world where the omnivore can also be making choices that do right by the animals we have been granted to help sustain us. That said, I do have a good idea of what I value, of the verb or descriptor I would most like to guide my life, and that is to be.

I meditate

I take mindful moments whenever I can. those three deep breaths before entering a meeting, the concerted awareness of letting the phone ring before answering it.

But if you asked me to just sit with myself all day, I would have a hard time, not being with my thoughts, my meditative practice and some traditional therapy has taught me that thinking and feeling are not forcibly bad experiences,  because I am a mover, I don’t do sitting still very well. Thankfully my mindfulness guide taught me not to judge myself for being fidgety, that even the fidgety can meditate. I am aware and I accept my limits, a 10 day silent meditation retreat is not for me right now where I am.

I have said this before in another way

I am who I am, and that is okay.

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7 thoughts on “Shades of Grey (no not that kind)”

    1. Excellent!!! We seem to struggle with some similiar things. You need to teach me about mindfulness mediation . I could use it! I do do some deep breathing during the day “SOMETIMES” but not nearly enough!
      Keep rockin it with this website!!

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      1. Thank you Sarah :-). Not sure if I can teach you… I believe all it needs is to realize that you need to stop and breath. And be aware about how you breathe. Take deep breaths you know… I started doing yoga only a year ago and it makes a big difference. Having said that: I was always able to “stop” and breathe when I was in a forest, on a mountain or on a beach. And this does give me energy.

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  1. Same here I m very fighty…I constantly need to do something…my brain never stops…I but I have trained it to thinks about positive thoughts I hardly think about negatives….life is too short to give those things a thought….I really like the way you have accepted your self…something’s are just not us…no point trying too hard…p.s. Loved the photograph.

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